My Business, Your Business, and God's Business

I have been reading an interesting book called, "Loving What Is" by Byron Katie. It is a great read, and it has really opened my mind to new ways of thinking. One concept she teaches is about staying in our own business and what a gift we are giving ourselves by doing this. She claims she can only find three kinds of business in the universe: mine, yours and God's.

So let's talk about the different kinds of "business" we encounter. First, my business. My business is things that are mine to figure out. Examples of this are how many hours a day I work, how I respond to others, what kind of parent, mother, wife, daughter or employee I am, how spiritual I am, and if I am showing up in the world the way I want to. Do I tell the truth? Do I show up in a loving way? Am I kind, do I work hard, and do I keep my commitments (whether to myself or others)? All of these are my business.

Now, let's talk about your business. This includes anything that is your decision to make. Do you have a job? Do you play with your kids? Do you have a good relationship with your mother? Why don't you text me back? All your business. When we try to get into others' business, there is an immediate effect on us. We can feel disconnected in our own life because we are so busy trying to figure out someone else's.

Finally, let's discuss God's business.  Byron Katie teaches this is actual reality, because it is out of ALL our hands. It just is. This includes earthquakes, when I or someone else may die, war, floods, etc. We can fret and worry about the way things are but cannot do a thing about them. This is God's business. Reality is also the choices of others. It is totally out of our hands. So we could also include that in God's business. Let Him handle it!

Now for some real-life examples.  I have a son that is serving a two year mission for my church in the Marshall Islands. He comes home in four months and will quickly jump into real life as a college student out of state. Sometimes I want to worry about how he "really" is doing, and wonder how his transition into "real life" will be for him after he gets home. I have observed that when I start fretting about those things, I feel anxiety. When I remind myself that he is an adult and that this is "his business" I can create a healthy space for myself. I can still love him and know I will support him 100%, but I will let him control his own business.

One of the concerns about his particular mission is he lives on tiny islands just barely above sea level.  If a big storm came through, it would completely wipe those islands out. I could worry about that, but it is not my business. It is God's. He is the only one who has any control over that, and I trust that if something did happen, I would be able to deal with it. But worrying and wondering solves absolutely nothing.

The only business we belong in is ours. Byron Katie had this to say about being in others' business:
"To think that I know what's best for anyone else is to be out of my business. Even in the name of love, it is pure arrogance, and the result is tension, anxiety and fear. Do I know what's right for me? That is my only business. Let me work with that before I try to solve your problems for you."

Next time you find yourself worked up and anxious, do a quick check-in with yourself. Whose business are you in? If it's not yours, let it go, and go back to being centered within yourself. The best we can give others, after all, is our best versions of ourselves. You be concerned with you, I'll be concerned with me, and we can hand the rest over to God. Can I get an Amen!?