Spaghetti or Lasagna?

When I was in 5th grade I was eating dinner at a friend's house when her mom asked me if I wanted leftover spaghetti or lasagna for dinner. My response was, "Oh, either is fine." She asked me again, and I gave the same response. Then she said something I have never forgotten. "Andrea, sometime someone is going to give you a choice, and if you don't choose what you actually want, they will choose for you may not like their choice."

I am reading Jack Canfield's "The Success Principles" and he teaches all about choosing and how it is our birthright. I think we tend to forget that. We have all kinds of reasons why we won't choose. We don't want to put anyone out. What if we didn't choose the "right" thing? What about the other person's feelings? Am I being greedy? Is it too much to ask?

What if it really IS your birthright to choose? What would you choose? If you made a list today of 20 things that you really, really deep down in your soul want, what would be on that list? Most of us live a life of default. We don't really WANT what we currently have- it's just how things have worked out. It'll do. But go with me for a minute of stepping into that space of who you really are and what you deeply want? What would change for you if you gave yourself permission to go after those things?

To start being someone who chooses and goes after what they want, start small. Do you want the window seat on the plane? Ask for it. Do you want more time with your kids? Say no to the things that may pull you away. Do you want time to yourself instead of being with the big group? Choose the time with yourself. Practice this skill. Constantly give yourself permission. Then, looking to your future, go backwards. If I want to live (pick a place) with ________ job, and ________ income, what do you need to do TODAY to start creating that? Pick those things. You are investing in the future of your dreams.

One question that comes up a lot when coaching on this is, "Shouldn't I just be happy with what I have?" They are looking for a deeper meaning of what it says about them that they want more than they have. But if you view the world with abundance, there is enough of everything to go around. We can be very grateful for what we currently have, and simultaneously want to up-level our lives to the things we want more of. Just because we want to! It is our right!

I have lived most of my life being a people-pleaser, not wanting to annoy, offend, be "high-maintenance," etc. I LOVE my newly developed skill of choosing! By experiencing results I don't really want by not being willing to choose, I have learned to give myself permission to say YES to me and the things I do want. You can do the same. So, do you want spaghetti or lasagna? You pick. I'll be having lasagna.