Making Decisions Like A Boss

Do you struggle with indecisiveness? Me too. At least I used to. As adults, we make on average 35,000 decisions a day. Insane, right? From the moment we wake up (what time SHOULD I wake up?) to the moment we go to sleep (should I read before bed, listen to music, take melatonin, or just lay in silence?), we are bombarded with decisions. Most of the choices we make are pretty inconsequential. It won't really matter if we wear blue instead of green, and eating eggs instead of cereal for breakfast probably won't ruin our life.

What about the choices that do carry more of a punch though? We are faced with those fairly often too. Should I let my child go to camp or not? Should I take this job or that job? Should we move here or there? Should I have more children or not? Should I marry this person or that person? Should I homeschool or send the kids to public school? These decisions can be quite burdensome if we carry the belief that one of the choices is right, and the other wrong.

For example, let's say Jane is deciding who to marry. She picks Sam. She had a hard time deciding and assumed if she picked the "right" one, their marriage would be blissful and they would never fight. When Jane and Sam marry, Jane is dismayed to find that they have some real struggles. Her brain begins spinning a story that she picked the wrong guy. She finds all the reasons why he's the wrong guy (our brains are excellent at finding evidence to back up whatever thought we are thinking) and ends up unhappy and wishing she would have picked the other guy. Her fears are taking up so much mental space and energy that she can't seem to focus on the actual issues- how to make things better in her marriage.

Now let's take the same Jane and Sam, except when troubles arise in their marriage, Jane holds onto the belief that she made the best choice, and looks for evidence of that. She can see all the great things about her marriage, and coming from a place of peace and calm can find possible ideas and solutions to the troubles they are facing. She moves TOWARD her husband with confidence rather than pulling AWAY from him in fear.

A thought that has been revolutionary for me is this: "If either choice would work out, which would I choose?" What if whether we move or don't move, our kids will be ok? What if whether we take the job at the bank or keep the one we have, it'll be ok? To me this is trusting a higher power (for me, this is God) that things are working FOR me, not against me. Does this mean that by choosing A instead of B, A will be so much easier? No way! Sometimes the lessons learned in A are exactly what we needed that B would not have offered.

Lean into decisions with confidence. Do your research, make the best decision you can, and choose which one you WANT to choose, knowing either way you will be fine. Like your reasons for choosing what you choose. Make sure those reasons align with who you are and who you want to be. We have been given this magnificent ability to make choices. Choose with confidence, and move forward with the belief that you made the best choice for you.