The Phantom and Compassion

When I was a sophomore in high school, I got to travel to Portland, Oregon with the theater students and see the musical, “The Phantom of the Opera” for the first time. I was in the nose-bleed section but I could have been in the front row and would not have loved it more. It was the most amazing, beautiful thing I had seen up to that point in my life and the story haunted me. I went home and read the original novel by Gaston Leroux at least twice. I read every other book I could find with various interpretations of the Phantom and his life.

Two nights ago I got to take my two senior daughters to see it on Broadway in New York as we are here for a school trip. Even though it was my 4th time seeing it, I will never grow tired of it. The music, the set, the story. Gets me every time. I was so delighted that they both loved it. 

When you think about it, the Phantom is pretty creepy. He seduces and confuses young Christine, wreaks havoc at the opera house, and even kills people in his attempt to get what he wants. But the real reason I love the play is because of the other side we see of him- his humanity. His tender heart, his desire to be loved, his pain at being loathed his entire life. 

Even though this is just a fictional story, something I firmly believe about people is that when we get the whole story of why people are the way they are, we can show a whole lot more compassion to them. In this example of the Phantom, he sings to Christine these words, “This face which earned a mother’s fear and loathing, a mask, my first unfeeling scrap of clothing.” He was treated with disgust from the day he was born. He wanted love and approval, just like the rest of us. 

You could say the Phantom was abusing Christine. Certainly he was manipulating her. Feeling compassion and understanding are one thing, allowing the manipulation is another. Ultimately Christine left him and went on to live a seemingly happy life with another man. The thing with having compassion though is it allows us to forgive and love, even if we cannot stay in a relationship because it would be unhealthy to do so. 

It may be a little cheesy to write a whole post about a fictional story, but it has always been special to me. I love hearing the stories of those that aren't often heard. I try to be a person that listens to those not many will listen to. I think we can learn a lot from the "outcasts" of society. There are always, always two sides to every story, and I believe anyone can change, especially when loved. 

Whether you are a Phantom fan or not, if there is someone difficult in your life, maybe get curious about them. Why might they act the way they do? What might it feel like to be them and live the way they do? Curiosity can lead to empathy, and empathy can lead to kindness. And being treated with kindness can change someone's life, and most of all, it can change yours.