When A Relationship is Complete

Life comes in many stages and seasons. And with each season, various people enter the scene to join us in our journey. These relationships can we sweet, and sometimes they can be the kind that help us become better people by pushing us to stretch and grow. But sometimes as we grow, relationships change. What worked before may not work anymore.

For me personally, when I went through the darkest time in my life, it solidified many relationships, but some I had to let go.  Some of my friendships from the past will never be the same- not by the fault of any one person, but because I have stepped into a different life and want to embrace it fully, looking forward and not backward. Some relationships are different than they were just by the nature of the changes I have made- I have a new husband, 5 more children, new extended family, and live in a new state. To try to keep things as they were with every relationship I have had would hold me back from embracing the life I am now in.

Even marriages can change. Sometimes they even end. This I know. For many years this seemed unthinkable to me. It broke my heart to even ponder the possibility, but it did end and I chose to let it go. 

We may feel resistance to the loss of these relationships, and that's ok, if it is for a reason we like. For example, I wanted to be very sad about the ending of my marriage. I willingly felt all the pain and sorrow at the closing of a very big chapter in my life, and grief at saying goodbye to someone I loved dearly. But sometimes we feel pain because we think the relationship should not end, or worry that something has gone terribly wrong.

What would change though, if we could settle into the thought that some relationships are meant to be for a period of time, and then are complete? Did you know we can love someone fiercely AND know our relationship with them is finished? It can be a decision made from a place of love, knowing we are moving in different directions. It's ok to let go and let things unfold into both our futures. We can feel gratitude for the time we got to spend with that person, wish them all the best, and walk with confidence into our new life.

I truly love every single person I have had the privilege of walking with in my own journey. Even if our relationships have changed, my heart is still with them, wishing them every good thing. I have understood though that to truly move forward, stepping into my new role and new life, I must be willing to lovingly let go of old ways of thinking, old ways of doing, and old ways of "being" while in various relationships. Sometimes loved ones can come along for the ride, and sometimes we can close a sweet chapter, thank it for being there, and confidently move forward into the present.

If you feel you are "white-knuckling" it in certain relationships and would like some additional help, please set up a mini-session with me at: calendly.com/andreagilescoaching.